We should legalize the murder of bicyclists
So I'm driving, all of a sudden a really strange car cuts me off. This car was not like any other car I have come by for this car was not powered by gas, but by a twig legged pussy wearing skintight shorts. Another distinct feature this car had was that it was not a car. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was a bike. Huh, but bikes are not suppose to be on the road trying to act like cars right?! You'd think he'd stay on the crosswalk as to avoid confusing drivers, but apparently he was too important to conform to reason, just like all the other stupid bicycle prick assholes I always come across on the road.
The thing that pissed me off about the bike pussy that day was that I would have beaten a red light if bike pussy didn't slow me down. I'd have changed lanes and cut him off too, but there were others cars in the other lanes that also were slowed down by this lane hog. It’s funny how bike pussy could hog 2 lanes at the same time even though his fucking vehicle is 1/100th the width of an automobile. He kept zig zagging into both lanes simultaneously, causing all lanes to slow down in a blizzard of confusion.
Who does this vaginal dick think he is? YOU'RE ON A BIKE, GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD BEFORE I PAVE YOU IN IT. I also hate how he could pass red lights too while cars can't. He’s exempt just cause he's on his magical fairy bike. If you want the right to be on the road, then drive a car or at least a motorcycle. Oh, you want to save the earth from pollution? Then don't stall cars and keep them burning gas longer than they need to for chrissakes.
What kills me about all this is that these hardheaded bicycle fairies would sue you if you hit them, even though it's their own damn fault for getting in your way. That's why I think legalizing their murder is a practical idea. Anyone stupid enough to pull off this kind of shit is just asking to get run over by a vehicle. And all the nonsense court cases would be a waste of time and money. So it makes perfect sense to run them down without any worries and the legal mumbo jumbo.
I don't care if running them down dents my car. As long as the shit still runs, I drive it. People that worry about a scratch on their cars make me sick. I use to drive a rusted 1981 Toyota Corolla that had holes. People even called it "the bucket", I kid you not. But it still ran so I drove it. Why get all butt-hurt about a dent or whatever? You people are so superficial, I especially hate how people are willing to spend more on making their cars shiny than on feeding the hungry....or on buying my comics.
But anyways, back to my proposition. We as a society should make killing a bicyclist as legal as killing someone that breaks into your home. Essentially they're doing the same thing. Whereas the intruder steals your electronics or whatever, the bicyclist steals your time and gas (think of all the gas you burn when you stay idle just because of the idiotic unpredictable bicyclist). And the bicyclist is also, in a way, breaking into your home. He's not suppose to be right in the middle of the road the same way some scum bag shouldn't be right in your house. When you are in your car, the road is your home, therefore bicycle fairies are trespassers and should get killed in the name of self-defense. I hope some government official or whatever comes by this rant...or else I'll just look like an ass just talking to myself...actually I'm always an ass that's just talking to myself in these rant things.
contact: joseangeles AT muchomail.com